The small Spanish town of Castrillo Matajudios has opted to change its name, which translated roughly as “Little Hill Fort of Jew Killers.” This name originated during the Inquisition, and may actually have been used as a means of protecting the town’s Jewish population. The town’s new name is Mota de Judios, or “Hill of the Jews.”
The following alternative names were also considered:
Little Hill Fort of Jew Killers – We’re Kidding!
Little Hill Fort of Jew Huggers
Little Hill Fort of People With Many Graduate Degrees
Jews “R” Us
East Little Hill Fort of Jew Killers
About 2,800 crossbows are being recalled because they may fire without the trigger being pulled. These crossbows were made by Precision Shooting Equipment of Tuscon, and the recall affects the models named TAC Elite, TAC Ordinance and Enigma, all selling for between $600 and $1500. In light of this error, and to help their products seem less threatening, the company is thinking about the following new crossbow names:
My Little Crossbow
The Boston police are currently seeking someone dubbed The Tickler, who has been breaking into the homes of sleeping people, all male, and tickling their feet. The Tickler never steals anything, and as soon as his victims wake up, he runs away.
A crime wave of similar behavior has been sweeping the area, including:
The Tastemaker – This fiend breaks into homes and rearranges the eclectic objects which have been painstakingly placed atop bookshelves and sideboards. The Tastemaker has been known to grab marble obelisks, ostrich eggs on brass stands, and costly tortoiseshell boxes. He shoves all of these items into the garbage, and adds a Post-it reading, “Where they belong!”
The Stylist – This arch-felon targets unsuspecting victims’ closets, where he re-groups their entire wardrobes into unexpected color combinations, spray-painting “Why not?” across a nearby wall.
The Mother – This perpetrator, believed to be a woman, sneaks into unsuspecting citizens’ co-ops and condos while they’re at work. She unearths every possible item which the citizens would never want their Moms to see, and stacks these items on the dining room table. Her finds include amateur porn, questionable tank tops, and photos of happy gatherings which the citizens’ Moms were never invited to. The Mother then carves the words, “I Hope You’re Proud Of Yourself” into the front door.