That somewhere on West End Avenue, a 21-year-old is living in his late grandmother’s 12 room, rent-controlled apartment, and paying $125 a month in rent
That because you never use it, your stove will never break
That if you never clean your bathroom, eventually it will be landmarked
That due to the progress of civil rights, gay people no longer cluster in certain neighborhoods – except for Hell’s Kitchen, where you can cast a Broadway show, its first replacement cast, and its first national tour, on any block
That shopping at Trader Joe’s somehow helps the environment
That someday, every one-bedroom apartment will also have a Dunkin Donuts in either the hall closet or the half-bath
That Marc Jacobs is now legally allowed to seize any property in the West Village, including private homes, and open another pop-up boutique
