There are plenty of Youtube videos where young people come out to their parents, either in person or on the phone. Most of these videos are very moving and everyone involved cries and the parents always reassure their kids that they will always love them. There’s currently a video where twins come out to their Dad. On a few of these videos the parents don’t respond well, which can be devestating. So just to be of service, here’s a list of possible responses, when your child tells you that he or she is gay.
“Of course you’re gay. You’re a 23-year-old man with BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS.”
“DO YOU THINK I’M BLIND?”
“Well I guess this means that you’ll be burning in hell for all eternity. I’M KIDDING!”
“I love it! If we go on Ellen together will she give us a car?”
“Thank God. At least now you have a tiny sliver of a chance at a decent life, unlike your disgustingly straight brother.”
“So my plan worked…”
“Let me tell your father. Right as he’s falling asleep in his recliner.”
“Hold on. Are you saying that you teach spinning, you have a tattoo of Spongebob and Patrick having sex, you live in West Hollywood and…you’re GAY? ARE YOU SURE?”
“Me too!”