Last night at the VMAs, Kanye West announced that he was running for President in 2020. While this was thrilling news, what really excited me was the prospect of First Lady Kim Kardashian. Here’s what we can expect:
– Instead of literacy or fighting childhood obesity, Kim will champion universal brow-shaping.
– Kim will stand proudly beside President West at his Inaugural, with her butt facing the camera.
– Kris Jenner will urge Kim to re-model the White House and add a mother-in-law apartment, granite countertops in the Oval Office, and she’ll push for turning the Lincoln Bedroom into a shoe closet.
– Kim’s official portrait will be a nude, although she’ll be holding a bottle of her latest fragrance.
– Kim’s sisters Khloe and Kourtney will open a boutique in the Rose Garden, selling leggings, fun tops and invitations to official dinners.
– Kim will demand that during Kanye’s presidency, the other branches of government will be spelled the Supreme Kort and Kongress.