Wear any garment with writing on it. Especially if the writing is on your butt.
Talk to your friend really loudly on the subway about how Shauna is a TOTAL SKANK I MEAN LOOK AT HER LEGS THEY’RE LIKE HAMS WHY IS JORDAN GOING OUT WITH HER?
Shave any part of your body while standing naked in a locker room.
Blow-dry any part of your body while standing naked in a locker room.
Jog wearing spandex while pushing an aerodynamically-designed stroller.
Walk along a crowded sidewalk with your arm draped around your loved one (any couple who does this will break up within a week.)
Stand in front of a painting at a museum and make little noises, as if you’re considering buying it.