“Gleefully wacky and irreverent.”

–The New York Times

“Line by line, Mr. Rudnick may be the funniest writer for the stage in the United States today.”

–The New York Times

“Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.”

–Steve Martin

“One of the funniest quip-meisters on the planet.”

–The New York Times

“Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.”

–David Sedaris

“Quips fall with the regularity of the autumn leaves.”

–Associated Press

August 10, 2015

You Can’t Complain About Strangers Watching You, Often With Disgust, If You Do Any of the Following Things In Public:

81304c6ec4384bb803fb57b5f12b54a4Use one of those cylindrical foam rollers to massage every part of your body on a mat at the gym. Especially if you moan.

Wear any garment with writing on it. Especially if the writing is on your butt.

Talk to your friend really loudly on the subway about how Shauna is a TOTAL SKANK I MEAN LOOK AT HER LEGS THEY’RE LIKE HAMS WHY IS JORDAN GOING OUT WITH HER?

Shave any part of your body while standing naked in a locker room.

Blow-dry any part of your body while standing naked in a locker room.

Jog wearing spandex while pushing an aerodynamically-designed stroller.

Walk along a crowded sidewalk with your arm draped around your loved one (any couple who does this will break up within a week.)

Stand in front of a painting at a museum and make little noises, as if you’re considering buying it.