1. You don’t have to worry about taking the SATs.
2. If you choose to, you never have to read any articles about taking the SATs.
3. You don’t have to think up a name for your generation.
4. Not only do you no longer have to worry about getting accepted at an Ivy League school, you will now know many people who have attended Ivy League schools and have then become yoga instructors.
5. You no longer have to listen to the same song over and over again, because it’s like the person who’s singing the song KNOWS YOU. If you’re listening to the same song over and over again as an adult, then the song is probably about IRAs.
6. You don’t have to take recreational drugs at parties or clubs. You can now take recreational drugs at home, to decompress after work.
7. You don’t have to worry about becoming the voice of your generation, or listening to the voice of your generation. Because the only voices who matter will now belong to either your doctor or your lawyer.
