Doesn’t Black Friday sound like the title of a Billie Holiday song?
If you want to humiliate your store employees, make them wear Santa hats.
Which is the most disturbing product at Costco:
A) Cake on a stick – for people who are too lazy to use utensils
B) Those enormous pies that are sold in white plastic containers which resemble toilet seats
C) Any food in the shape of a log
D) Any food which is sold by the bucket, as in the Bucket of Brownie Bites
In the Macy’s parade, the enormous dreidel was followed by several enormous elves. At Santa’s workshop, when the elves make the dreidels, do they keep asking Santa, “What are these things?”
When I see an ad for something I have no interest in buying, I feel virtuous, as if I’m actually saving money, and helping others.