“Gleefully wacky and irreverent.”

–The New York Times

“Line by line, Mr. Rudnick may be the funniest writer for the stage in the United States today.”

–The New York Times

“Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.”

–Steve Martin

“One of the funniest quip-meisters on the planet.”

–The New York Times

“Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.”

–David Sedaris

“Quips fall with the regularity of the autumn leaves.”

–Associated Press

November 29, 2013

A Special Day

Doesn’t Black Friday sound like the title of a Billie Holiday song?

If you want to humiliate your store employees, make them wear Santa hats.

Which is the most disturbing product at Costco:

A) Cake on a stick – for people who are too lazy to use utensils
B) Those enormous pies that are sold in white plastic containers which resemble toilet seats
C) Any food in the shape of a log
D) Any food which is sold by the bucket, as in the Bucket of Brownie Bites

In the Macy’s parade, the enormous dreidel was followed by several enormous elves. At Santa’s workshop, when the elves make the dreidels, do they keep asking Santa, “What are these things?”

When I see an ad for something I have no interest in buying, I feel virtuous, as if I’m actually saving money, and helping others.