It’s always interesting when the bride is taking the groom’s name. This usually seems politically backwards, except for the cases in which the bride is losing a questionable surname, as when Amy Bungwelder becomes Amy Barstow
Any announcement where one or both of the people are over 90 seems especially joyful and inspiring
When both people have completely round heads, they look grinning helium balloons
Both members of so many lesbian couples are often incredibly impressive: Sara is always a thoracic surgeon for Doctors Without Borders, while Catherine is always the CEO of a foundation which promotes literacy worldwide
Whenever both members of a gay male couple are under 23, I’m impressed yet wary
If, even in a 1″ square black-and-white photo, I can tell that someone has dental veneers, there’s a problem
I only read the sentences about what the couples’ parents do for a living to see if their children are doing better or worse
Bowties only work on scientists
There should be a separate section called Obvious First Marriages
