Kim Davis, the Kentucky clerk who’s refused to issue marriage licenses to gay couples, claims that God has instructed her to behave this way. Here are some other things God’s whispered to Kim:
“Get married again. Fifth time’s the charm!”
“Every day is Casual Friday in Kentucky!”
“Keep saying that you don’t hate anyone. Then giggle to yourself.”
“Accept huge amounts of cash and legal advice from scary evangelical groups and individuals.Use the money to buy more barettes.”
“Think about also denying drivers licenses to gay people, because what if they drive to their demonic churches and get married?”
“Check to make sure that none of your Beanie Babies are gay. Make the gay Beanie Babies sleep outside.”
