“Gleefully wacky and irreverent.”

–The New York Times

“Line by line, Mr. Rudnick may be the funniest writer for the stage in the United States today.”

–The New York Times

“Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.”

–Steve Martin

“One of the funniest quip-meisters on the planet.”

–The New York Times

“Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.”

–David Sedaris

“Quips fall with the regularity of the autumn leaves.”

–Associated Press

December 22, 2014

Merry What?

cd31f0b7-5eaa-466e-a8e2-22cf7fb4e784This has been an especially fraught holiday season, and no one seems in the mood for caroling and egg nog. Here are a few possible solutions for holiday trauma:

– Gather your loved ones and begin singing “Deck The Halls.” When you get to the first Falalalala, say “fuck it” and stop.

– Think about touring the holiday-themed windows on Fifth Avenue and visiting the tree at Rockefeller Center, then ask yourself, “Am I out of my mind?” and stay home instead.

– Consider attending some sort of religious ceremony, but then obsessively follow the news on TV and online instead.

– If your kids keep asking about when Santa’s going to get here, stare at them and ask, “Who are you?”

– Remember that the forecast for Christmas Day, at least on the East Coast, involves unseasonably warm temperatures and rain, which feels appropriate.

– If you’re feeling especially overwhelmed, remind yourself that within a few years, we’ll have luxury resort hotels in Cuba.