As any presidential race ramps up, I become consumed with fear, whenever the media focuses on some nightmarish new candidate. I become convinced that these repulsive blowhards have a real shot, even if they almost always implode within a few weeks. Remember the wild speculation over, say, Rick Santorum or Rick Perry or another run by Sarah Palin? So many pundits are willing to write Cassandra-like op-ed pieces, on why Chris Christie or Ben Carson or Bobby Jindal will be our next President.
Here are some tips for avoiding the sort of jitters which can destroy so many innocent brain cells:
– Don’t read lengthy think pieces about any candidate, including the people you support. These pieces will rarely contain any new information.
– Never trust the wild-eyed opinion of any lower-level campaign official wearing red, white and blue clothing and holding a sign reading So-and-So 2016.
– Only skim the first paragraph of any candidate’s announcement that he or she is running for office.The rest will be blather. You can also ignore all campaign videos, unless you’re really interested in watching cross-sections of people getting misty-eyed about the American Dream and A Better Tommorrow.
– Ignore creepy old guys like Dick Cheney, who’ll say anything to get back on camera.
– Wait for the debates, which are less easily controlled by the candidates and their teams.
– Ignore polling, because the numbers will only give you either a stomachache or false optimism, and everything will change within 24 hours.
– Try to avoid hysterical people, who will insist that if so-and-so wins, they’re moving to Canada.
