As the recent hit film Frozen has shown us, snowpeople lead desperate inner lives. The snowfolk below are roadside sexworkers. They hate it when customers make jokes about snowjobs or getting plowed.
This next snowperson is feeling a certain bittersweet joy, because while he’s about to publish his first collection of short stories, he’s worried that this jacket photo makes him look fat:
You may want to look away from this next explicit image, which is a news photo of a snowperson love triangle gone terribly wrong. The depression at the center was just starting college:
His Mom was a snowperson, but his Dad was a jack o’lantern. This is the last time he was seen upright:
Facebook has just released over fifty different options for referring to a person’s gender. But where is the designation for “Someone whose genitals have melted”?