“Gleefully wacky and irreverent.”

–The New York Times

“Line by line, Mr. Rudnick may be the funniest writer for the stage in the United States today.”

–The New York Times

“Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.”

–Steve Martin

“One of the funniest quip-meisters on the planet.”

–The New York Times

“Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.”

–David Sedaris

“Quips fall with the regularity of the autumn leaves.”

–Associated Press

November 16, 2014

Thank You For Being You

jewish-purimOne page of a recent New York Times contained three stories which warmed my tabloid heart:

1. Because I was raised to believe that there’s no such thing as a Jewish criminal, I relish any tale of Hasidic misbehavior. Irving Rubin, along with his wife Desiree, his sons Joel and Yehuda, and his brothers Abraham, Jacob and Samuel were all indicted for many forms of fraud, including claiming to be homeless in order to receive welfare benefits and millions of dollars in loans. Abraham had been previously indicted for trying to bribe a witness in the case against Nechemya Weberman, “an unlicensed therapist in Brooklyn’s Satmar hasidic community”, who was found guilty of sexually abusing his clients, including children. Oy. Maybe these sorts of Jews were put on earth to make wayward Catholic priests feel better.


2. Vincent Zanfardino, knowing he had epilepsy, told his doctors that he didn’t drive, and then proceeded to have a seizure behind the wheel.  He began going 93 piles per hour, and crashed into “Brynn Rohlf, who was driving a black Acura with her fiancee, Dylan Gardineer in the back seat. They were returning from a trip to buy heroin.” Mr. Zanfardino’s lawyer told the court, “It’s not Mr. Zanfardino’s fault he has epilepsy, and it’s not his fault the state of New York allows people with epilepsy to drive.” As my mother might say, but at least none these people were Jewish. And as I might say, does Costco now sell heroin?


3. In an article on parents who accidentally leave their unattended infants to suffocate in cars, one such caring Mom said, “If you can forget your cellphone, you can absolutely forget your child.” I’m assuming this woman then demanded that Samsung replace her baby.