Use one of those cylindrical foam rollers to massage every part of your body on a mat at the gym. Especially if you moan.
Wear any garment with writing on it. Especially if the writing is on your butt.
Talk to your friend really loudly on the subway about how Shauna is a TOTAL SKANK I MEAN LOOK AT HER LEGS THEY’RE LIKE HAMS WHY IS JORDAN GOING OUT WITH HER?
Shave any part of your body while standing naked in a locker room.
Blow-dry any part of your body while standing naked in a locker room.
Jog wearing spandex while pushing an aerodynamically-designed stroller.
Walk along a crowded sidewalk with your arm draped around your loved one (any couple who does this will break up within a week.)
Stand in front of a painting at a museum and make little noises, as if you’re considering buying it.
