“Gleefully wacky and irreverent.”

–The New York Times

“Line by line, Mr. Rudnick may be the funniest writer for the stage in the United States today.”

–The New York Times

“Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.”

–Steve Martin

“One of the funniest quip-meisters on the planet.”

–The New York Times

“Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.”

–David Sedaris

“Quips fall with the regularity of the autumn leaves.”

–Associated Press

March 24, 2014

Pringles

pringles-pipe-organ-5

This is a pipe organ made entirely out of Pringles cans.

But as a longtime Pringles fan, I can assure you that
Pringles are not just a sturdy construction material.
Many people are afraid of Pringles. Someone once informed
me that because I’d eaten so many Pringles, “when you die
you’ll already be embalmed.”

As a public service, I will now explain exactly what
Pringles are made of, and why you have nothing to fear.

Maltodextrin – This is a substance harvested from the tears
of the goddess Aphrodite who, upon first glimpsing a
Pringle, whispered, “Pringles are so much more beautiful
than me.”

Disodium guanylate – A resin created by combining the
taste of freshly sliced potatoes with melted troll dolls.

Auotlyzed yeast extract – The crystallized essence of
two yeast spores making love, which causes their blissful
deaths.

Pringles Factoids:

Pringles flavors include Smokey Bacon, Prawn Cocktail
and for the Christmas season only, Peppermint White Chocolate.
For the Asian market, Pringles introduced Soft-Shelled
Crab, Seaweed and Grilled Shrimp – the Grilled Shrimp
Pringles are green. The rule for inventing new flavors
is that the name of the flavor alone must inspire
projectile vomiting.

Chemist Fredric Baur, working from 1956 through 1958,
pioneered both the distinctive Pringles saddle shape
and the legendary Pringles can. When Baur died in 2008
his family honored his wishes and buried his cremated
remains in a Pringles can.

In 2012, Proctor&Gamble sold its Pringles line to
the Kellogg Company for 2.695 billion dollars.

A tasty perennial: Sour Cream’N’Bile:

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New on the shelves, the increasingly
popular Dried Kitten flavor:

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Blognick