In 2015 I resolve to:
– Eat more yellow cake with chocolate frosting.
– Read more first paragraphs and then stop.
– Almost finish watching a whole season of something.
– Eat more Costco trail mix.
– In the course of any tragic/disturbing/incoherent situation which grips the nation, hold off on formulating an opinion until having an opinion becomes unnecessary, because the zeitgeist has moved on.
– Do not learn to drive.
– Praise myself for becoming less kneejerk judgemental of other people.
– Attempt to at least give the false appearance of becoming less kneejerk judgemental of other people.
– Decide that being kneejerk judgemental of other people is actually a medically classifiable disorder over which I have no control. So I’m not a bad person, I’m just someone living with Kneejerk Judgement Disorder.
– Eat more chocolate pecan turtles.
