Justin Bieber has done it again: by posing reverently at a Tokyo shrine to Japanese war
criminals, he’s offended millions. He’s tweeted an apology in which he explains that
he’d had his driver pull over to what he thought was a place of prayer, and he concludes,
“I love you China and I love you Japan.” Earlier Bieber had visited the Anne Frank
house in Amsterdam, where he’d written, in the guestbook, that if Anne was still alive,
“Hopefully she’d be a Belieber.”
Just to save time, here are some future Bieber apologies:
“So sorry to black people everywhere. Thought Martin Luther King was Luther Vandross.
Shouldn’t have compared myself to him, as a ‘sexy-time dude.'”
“Jews, u know I luv u. Thought concentration camps were for gettin’ ready for the SATs.”
“Shouldn’t have called my new album 9/11 – thought you could buy Big Gulps there.”
“Got it – all female cops not really strippers. Yay u!”
“Props to India – didn’t mean to tell Calcutta audience Don’t Have a Cow.”
“Gay dudes rule – will stop callin’ gay shit so gay.”
“Helen Keller u rock – thought u wuz snooty.”
“My bad, Pope Francis – ur not a nurse!”
