When someone says “In the near future, I hope that my being gay is as of little interest as someone’s being left-handed.”
Translation: “I am not only innately superior to all gay people on the planet, but to all left-handed people as well.”
When someone says, “Just because I’m a gay man, that doesn’t mean I automatically love divas, Broadway shows and drag queens.”
Translation: “Sometimes when I’m on the elliptical, I listen to Bono and I sob, out of respect and deep emotion. And that’s just from his CNN interviews.”
When a gay man says, “I would never see a play, movie or TV show, just because it has gay content.”
Translation: “Unless it featured Chris Evans, Nick Jonas or Tom Hiddleston in a towel.”
When someone says, “I have more straight friends than gay ones.”
Translation: “That way, I’m the thin one.”
When someone says, “I despise the use of outdated gay stereotypes in the media.”
Translation: “In all of those TV shows, plays and movies I claim not to be watching.”
When someone says, “Just because I’m brave enough to criticize certain aspects of the so-called gay sensibility, why does that make me self-loathing?”
Fine. Let’s just say pompous, humorless and self-adoring.
When someone says, “The more confident I became, the more many of my so-called ‘gay’ mannerisms began to disappear.”
Translation: “I could pass as straight if I wanted to. But why did you just roll your eyes and say, ‘Darling’?”
When someone says, “I have no problem with people who are flamboyant or campy. Live and let live. But that’s not who I am.”
Translation: “Thank God I’m normal.”
