This is absolutely true: I’m waiting in line at Costco, and there’s the best behaved, most intent child I’ve ever seen, seated in the baby seat of a nearby cart. She’s maybe two years old and she’s busy with a child-sized tech device, in hot pink to match her outfit. She’s swiping and using the screen’s keyboard, with far more ease and savvy than, for example, me. I decided that she was using a new app called Kindr, which allows preschoolers to set up their own playdates. Here’s what I imagine this child was thinking, as she checked out various other toddlers’ faces and made her decisions:
“No hair, no teeth, no way.”
“A pacifier? Really?”
“Hmmm…either confident or asleep – I can’t decide.”
“A onesie with a Spongebob pattern – YES!!!”
“I hate it when the Mom and Dad smush their faces into the picture – so needy.”
“Oh please, she’s says she’s three and a half – MAYBE TWO YEARS AGO, HONEY.”
“Twins? So they’ll hog twice the Gerber Applesauce?”
“That’s a baby seal! WEBMASTER!!!”
