I’ve just read an article regarding what top tennis players say to each other, when they’re paired in doubles matches. It seems that these conversations, which are conducted in whispers and cannot be overheard, can go on for quite some time, and can delay the match. Since I know less than nothing about tennis, here’s what I feel is said, between, say, the legendary Venus and Serena Williams:
Venus: Even on our worst day, we are so much better than everyone else.
Serena: I know. Sometimes I get bored, so while I’m playing, I mentally sketch new tennis outfits.
Venus: Me too! I wish they would let us wear capes.
Serena: Okay, during the next volley, let’s pick someone in the stands who’s talking on their cell, and see if we can hit the phone out of their hand.
Venus: Or I can hide the ball under my skirt, and we can both look around, like “Where’d it go?”
Serena: You know what’s really silly? Golf.
Venus: Oh please!
Serena: I wish we had little carts to ride around in. Every time I see someone playing golf, I want to ask, “And the point is?”
Venus: Oh, I know – for the next volley, what if I serve a golf ball?
Serena: Or a meatball?
Venus: Or a Hostess Snowball?
Serena: Or what if, the next time the ball comes over the net, we both scream, drop our racquets and run away?
