Become a reality star
Become a reality star with a sex tape
Become a reality star with a sex tape where you get peed on
Worry that the sex tape where you get peed on may affect the sales of your signature fragrance
Become a reality star by dropping out of middle school to become an unwed mother who lives at home
Leverage your fame as a teen Mom to make a sex tape focusing on anal sex
Claim that the focus on anal sex is educational, because it can prevent teen pregnancy
Become a serial killer
Become a serial killer with a religious or political manifesto
Become a serial killer with a manifesto, whom even the Prosecuting Attorney has to admit has great hair
Marry a serial killer while he’s serving a life sentence and expect wedding gifts
Do something which requires talent, education and discipline, and benefits others
Win the Nobel prize
Make a sex tape because you’re the only hot Nobel prizewinner
Become an obese drug addict who hits bottom
Go on a reality show to “work on yourself”
Stay clean for three days, announce this on a talk show and expect applause
Make a sex tape because now that you’ve been sober for three days you’re not ashamed of your body
Write an inspirational book about how you relapsed into drug addiction after your sex tape didn’t sell, but while you were in a coma for three weeks you met Jesus and he told you that you were still a good person
Make another sex tape because Jesus told you that no one likes a quitter
