1. What if I’m asked to become the new Executive Editor of The New York Times and I can’t think of a polite way to say no?
2. What if I buy the LA Clippers and then I mess things up and people start wishing that Donald Sterling was back?
3. What if I bid $50 million at Sothebys for a Jeff Koons statue of Popeye and then I can’t figure out where to put it? Does it belong with my Disney Princesses chess set or my collection of vintage Josie and the Pussycats salt and pepper shakers?
4. What if I’m introduced to Ann Coulter and she wants a hug?
5. What if because of climate change I’m never sure if I should wear a lightweight jacket or a lightweight jacket over a sweater vest?
6. What if Edward Snowden hacks into my computer and threatens to leak all of my eBay searches?
7. What if I’m alone in the elevator and then Solange Knowles gets on and I just start sobbing?
8. What if as I’m crossing a busy intersection, just as a truck is about to hit me, a cat runs out and drags me to safety with its little paws, but then I realize that the whole thing was a set-up so the cat could get on Youtube? If I call the cat a whore will people think I’m a monster?
