1. So many people online kept insisting that he was gay, so he began to wonder.
2. He needed time to save up for the ring.
3. He kept waiting for Angelina to leave Brad (because Jennifer Aniston kept assuring him, “Oh, it’s gonna happen!”)
4. He kept waiting for Brad to leave Angelina, because even though George is straight, he’d still marry Brad, duh.
5. His bride-to-be is a lawyer so on their first date, she surprised him with a binding pre-dessert marital contract, and he really wanted the tiramisu.
6. He finally met someone who was smarter, sexier and prettier than he is.
7. He’d bought expensive wedding gifts for so many other people and he was finally getting fed up.
8. He’s being paid a fortune by the Soviet government to distract the media from what’s going on in Ukraine.
9. He was getting tired of Jewish women referring to him as Mister Picky and Mister-I’m-Too-Fancy-To-Marry-A-Normal-Woman-And-Be-Miserable.
10. He finally accepted the fact that Jo, from The Facts of Life, on which a young George had appeared as a handyman, was never going to marry him.
