Last night I saw another one of those Coca-Cola commercials featuring a family of polar bears, galloping and sliding and hugging through the snow. As they sip from bottles of Coke, they build a snowman, and give him a bottle of Coke. I find these ads deeply disturbing: where do the polar bears get their bottles of Coke? Have they mauled a team of arctic researchers? How do the bears recycle the bottles? In real life, wouldn’t drinking Coke be unhealthy for polar bears? Why isn’t there at least one unmarried or recently divorced, weight-conscious polar bear sipping Diet Coke?
Here’s a polar bear being introduced to Coke, by an unscrupulous penguin:
Here’s the bear drinking alone, while his family hibernates:
The bear is now hooked, and no longer himself:
The whole family gets involved, in what is clearly polar crack:
A threat, to bears who won’t drink Coke:
Coked out of his mind:
Why aren’t the younger bears in school?
Yeah, that’s right:
This bear is down to his last bottle, and getting desperate:
He’s hit bottom, and is finally ready to fix his life:
His first meeting, to get off the stuff:
Sober:
A blizzard is about to hit much of the US, so just like the bears, be careful out there!
