1. Actors hug everyone. Stars will only hug Ellen.
2. If an actor says, “I’m really broke”, they’re really broke. When a star says, “I’m really broke”, it means they’re going to fire someone on their staff.
3. When an actor tells another actor, “You look fantastic!”, they mean it. When a star tells another actor, “You look fantastic!” the subtext can be, “Until I can talk to the director.”
4. When an actor gets a nice dressing room or a decent trailer, they’ll instagram photos of it to their friends. When a star first takes a look at their dressing room or trailer, they’ll call their agent and manager to ask which stars have bigger and better ones.
5. Actors will often be required to wear costumes which have already been worn by many other actors. When stars gain weight, they will sometimes accuse the wardrobe department of shrinking their clothes.
6. While performing a scene in a movie or a play, actors will look at the person they’re talking to. Stars won’t do this, because the existence of other people confuses them.
7. Some stars are both supremely talented actors and delightful human beings. It’s not fair.
8. It’s thrilling to work with a wonderful actor. It’s thrilling to watch a great star, from the safety of the cineplex.
9. Actors have fans. Stars have stalkers.
10. The test of a great actor: the respect of one’s peers. The mark of a true star: a perfume endorsement after they’re dead.
