This is my very first post on my brand new website. I’ll begin by thanking Randy Blair, who designed the site, for doing such a wonderful job. Because I’m monumentally tech-challenged, when I first met Randy I told him just what I tell all of the supremely helpful salespeople at the Apple store: “I will be, by far, the stupidest person you have ever had to deal with.” Randy, just like those salespeople, laughed graciously and said, “Oh, no no”, and then, after speaking with me for an hour or so, he got that look on his face which meant, “Good Lord, this guy wasn’t kidding.” But Randy triumphed over my ignorance, and I hope everyone enjoys the site.
I’ll be posting all sorts of things, including updates about my work, radically unsupported opinions and the oddest possible thoughts; as far as I can tell, that’s what blogs are for. At the moment, I’m obsesssing over a segment on one of the home shopping networks, which was offering enormous metal canisters of popcorn, for holiday gift giving. The popcorn was first coated with caramel, and then drizzled with both white and dark chocolate. Then, as a final gourmet touch, bits of Twixt and Snickers bars were added. The host assured the viewer, in a very solemn tone of voice, that the candy bars involved were “hand-broken.” Like any decent American, I’d hate to have my candy bars broken by machines. The final result looked like a form of truly delicious asphalt, and I wanted the host to add that this popcorn was a great Yuletide artery-clogging treat.
From now on, I’m going to think of everything, from my prose to my dreams to my life itself, as hand-broken.
November 13, 2013
