“Gleefully wacky and irreverent.”

–The New York Times

“Line by line, Mr. Rudnick may be the funniest writer for the stage in the United States today.”

–The New York Times

“Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.”

–Steve Martin

“One of the funniest quip-meisters on the planet.”

–The New York Times

“Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.”

–David Sedaris

“Quips fall with the regularity of the autumn leaves.”

–Associated Press

October 17, 2014

Boys, behave!

jorge2Sometimes, when I’m feeling blue, over the rumored death of a certain gay sensibility, and a delectable flamboyance, I come across my two favorite gentlemen co-hosts on one of the home shopping channels. Jorge and Brian sell Waterford Crystal together, and all you really need to know is that they both wear  blazers with pocket squares the size of a cantaloupe. Here are a few favorite moments from today’s show:

– While hawking a vase, Jorge comments, “I love a tight nosegay on top.”

– Brian and Jorge discuss the Waterford seahorse ornaments, and Jorge announces that, “The seahorse is the most majestic creature in the universe!” Brian tells us that he’s replacing the more ordinary “French crystals” on his home chandelier with seahorse ornaments, and confides, presumably describing his chandelier, “And I have five arms!” To which Jorge responds, “But what if you had ten arms! Or fifteen!”

– While promoting the small, budget-wise Honor bowl, Jorge says that, “I just have to tell you, when I was discussing this bowl in one of our design meetings, things got heated. Because I demanded a lid and a pedestal foot, and I got them!” When Brian describes a similar meeting, he insists, “I was lucky to get out of there alive!”

– While admiring a crystal eagle paperweight, Brian suggests, “This would be perfect for my brother, who drives a Harley. What am I saying, you don’t drive a Harley, you ride one!” Jorge adds that the eagle would be “perfect for anyone in the military.” He later advises that a set of goblets would be ideal, “for serving chilled beer, or for breadsticks on Italian night!”

– Both men love to invent additional uses for any piece of Waterford. Brian turns a bowl upside down and hides a wristwatch under it, saying, “Won’t your husband be surprised when the waiter brings this out!”

– When Brian admires “those swag cuts” on a bowl, Jorge ripostes, “That bowl’s got swagger!”

– When Brian tells viewers to order multiples of every item, he explains, “Those UPS guys are built like that for a reason!”

I adore these men, whose conversation is both bizarre and joyous. But today, when the segment grew too wild, a female host appeared and admonished, “Boys, behave!”