“Gleefully wacky and irreverent.”

–The New York Times

“Line by line, Mr. Rudnick may be the funniest writer for the stage in the United States today.”

–The New York Times

“Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.”

–Steve Martin

“One of the funniest quip-meisters on the planet.”

–The New York Times

“Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.”

–David Sedaris

“Quips fall with the regularity of the autumn leaves.”

–Associated Press

August 2, 2014

Degrees of Outrage

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1. Outrage at a genuine injustice, against yourself or a loved one.

2. Outrage at a global injustice, which while unspeakable, has not affected you personally on a day-to-day level.

3. Outrage at someone who’s disagreed with you regarding the nature of that global injustice, on Facebook.

4. Outrage at anyone of an opposing political party, i.e., an idiot, a criminal, or a liar.

5. Outrage at whoever answers the phone, finally, at Time-Warner. Even though the problem is not technically their fault, they still work there, and it’s hard to get the CEO of Time-Warner on the phone, so that you can call him exactly what everyone else would like to call him.

6. Outrage at someone who’s horribly offended you, including an abusive parent, a facist tyrant, or Walt Disney, but they’re dead, which seems like cheating.

7. Outrage at inanimate objects, which you’ve stubbed your toe on, an event which you swear hurt more than open heart surgery without anesthesia.

8. Outrage at any form of packaging which is impossible to open.

 

Here’s the question: is this list in ascending or descending order?

 

Blognick