By which I mean, what happens when you’re performing some simple yet essential task, while thinking about something else entirely.
1. You can start to apply toothpaste as if it was deoderant.
2. You can stop in the middle of the sidewalk and try to remember not just where you’re going, but what’s the name of the actress who plays what’s-her-name’s younger sister on what’s-that-show?
3. You can drink something which you didn’t order and which you hate.
4. You can be looking right into someone’s eyes and call them Joyce, when of course their name is Ben, and they’re not transgendered in any direction.
5. Instead of saying “I love you”, you can hold up a photo on your phone and ask, “Do you like this end table?”
6. You can start cursing at inanimate objects because you can’t find the pair of scissors you’re holding.
7. You can walk all the way to the gym and then remember that you’ve forgotten to bring your gym bag.
When any of these things happen, it is perfectly acceptable to blame global warming, secret government experiments conducted on you when you were a child, or French anti-semites.
