“Gleefully wacky and irreverent.”

–The New York Times

“Line by line, Mr. Rudnick may be the funniest writer for the stage in the United States today.”

–The New York Times

“Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.”

–Steve Martin

“One of the funniest quip-meisters on the planet.”

–The New York Times

“Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.”

–David Sedaris

“Quips fall with the regularity of the autumn leaves.”

–Associated Press

August 3, 2015

Today’s Truth

truthUWhenever I Skype someone, I always feel like I’m watching the live feed from one of those cameras which perverts hide in public restrooms.

I prefer drones to people on bicycles.

All of those people who say, “I like Trump because he speaks his mind” really mean, “I like Trump because he’s openly racist.”

The new Mission Impossible movie is heavenly, especially because it includes my favorite Mission Impossible moment: when a character pulls off his or her face, having fooled the bad guys with a rubber mask. This device should be used in more movies, especially serious period films set in the English countryside.

Those Tate’s chocolate chip cookies, which usually arrive as a bag full of crumbling pieces, are dangerous. They do what only truly great, crappy cookies can do: they prove that I am weak and powerless, and will betray any friend, loved one or nation, if I can have just one more.