The most dangerous gift you can give someone is not a loaded handgun. It’s a 3 pound plastic jug of Kirkland Milk Chocolate Almonds from Costco. This jug has a wide-mouth opening which easily accomodates a human hand. If I tried, maybe I could fit my head inside. The second most dangerous gift is a 4 pound bag of Kirkland Trail Mix. This bag contains cashews, peanuts, almonds, M&Ms and raisins. Someday my lifeless body will be found beside an empty bag and I will be smiling.
January 5, 2015