“Gleefully wacky and irreverent.”

–The New York Times

“Line by line, Mr. Rudnick may be the funniest writer for the stage in the United States today.”

–The New York Times

“Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.”

–Steve Martin

“One of the funniest quip-meisters on the planet.”

–The New York Times

“Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.”

–David Sedaris

“Quips fall with the regularity of the autumn leaves.”

–Associated Press

January 5, 2015


20131215-4The most dangerous gift you can give someone is not a loaded handgun. It’s a 3 pound plastic jug of Kirkland Milk Chocolate Almonds from Costco. This jug has a wide-mouth opening which easily accomodates a human hand. If I tried, maybe I could fit my head inside. The second most dangerous gift is a 4 pound bag of Kirkland Trail Mix. This bag contains cashews, peanuts, almonds, M&Ms and raisins. Someday my lifeless body will be found beside an empty bag and I will be smiling.

kirkland-signature-trail-mix These are very small photos. In real life these products are the size of all pleasure since the beginning of time.