“Gleefully wacky and irreverent.”

–The New York Times

“Line by line, Mr. Rudnick may be the funniest writer for the stage in the United States today.”

–The New York Times

“Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.”

–Steve Martin

“One of the funniest quip-meisters on the planet.”

–The New York Times

“Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.”

–David Sedaris

“Quips fall with the regularity of the autumn leaves.”

–Associated Press

September 18, 2015

Worst Kinds of Waiting

waiting-21. Waiting for medical test results
2. Waiting behind a person who’s decided to discuss a purchase from three months ago with the cashier
3. Waiting for someone who still hasn’t started packing when you’re already late for your flight
4. Waiting for the light to change
5. Waiting for a college acceptance notification
6. Waiting while the salesperson checks to see if they have your desired item “in the back” when you know the salesperson is actually making a personal call about where to meet Andrea later tonight
7. Waiting for the check
8. Waiting for the bathroom
9. Waiting for the bathroom WHEN IT’S AN EMERGENCY
10. Waiting for the subway to start moving again after the lights and air conditioning have gone out
11. Waiting for someone at a restaurant or on a streetcorner and wondering if you’ve been stood up or if the other person has been in a terrible acccident – then you start hoping they were
12. Waiting for a repair person to arrive after the “four hour window” has long passed
13. Waiting on the wrong line
14. Waiting for someone after the show or movie has already started, and you know they’re still primping
15. Waiting for the brownies to have cooled down enough to eat without burning your mouth
16. Waiting for your turn to speak in any conversation